kalau nantinya jadi orang asing, kenapa sekarang abu-abu, dan dulu harus akrab?

all of the assumptions about how you may have a little bit attention towards me tuh langsung menguap aja gak bersisa waktu sikap lo ke gue seharian itu dingin banget. kalau dipikir-pikir, mungkin juga karena gue yang seharian gak mengeluarkan aura bersahabat. you receive what you share. ain't the rule work like that?

rasanya jadi mending gak lihat lo sama sekali daripada atmosfer di sekitar kita kerasa dingin banget. awalnya buat gue, asal ada lo di sekitar gue, rasanya udah cukup bikin gue seneng. seakan-akan secuil bagian dari hati gue yang ngeharapin perhatian dari lo di setiap pertemuan kita itu gak penting. gak penting karena i can bear the feeling of being ignored. tapi ternyata, enggak. 

di pikiran gue langsung banyak pertanyaan. kenapa lo gak sehangat biasanya? did i do something bothersome towards you? makanya lo ngejauh? have i been too annoying for you? did you want me to stay away from you? rasanya gue pingin marah. tapi gak tahu rasa marah ini sebenernya ditujukan buat siapa, and i am the person that cries when she gets mad. jadinya gue nangis. gak sekeras itu sampai nafas gue sesenggukan, tapi cukup bisa bikin tenggorokan kerasa lumayan tercekat. 

i want to stop loving you. i want to be free from any fond which has started blooming towards you. i want to stop expecting something would work between us. i want to get rid of any hopes about you. thus i won't hurt my own feelings from something i shouldn't feel at the first place; falling in love with you.